I don’t know about you but one of the hardest things for me to do is to just sit and wait. I’m pretty patient when it comes to the small stuff but with the big stuff, like what to do with my life, I stink at waiting.
And I’ve spent my whole life trying to figure out how to make it mean something. But what if God already has that figured out and all I have to do is follow His leading? His timing?
Can I do that?
I’ve made a big change in my life over the past few weeks. As I said before, I’ve always been very crafty and have had success in selling my crafts. It always made me feel successful, capable, worthwhile. It gave me purpose.
Two weeks ago all the desire and passion I had for crafting just up and left me. It was weird…very weird. And very quiet. Surprisingly, it’s okay. I’m okay with it. It actually feels pretty good. I’d just finished sewing 125 felt birds (yes, it was crazy!) for a wedding order. That was my final sale for my Etsy shop that I had set up a year ago.
But two weeks ago, I asked God to speak to me (and not just in a whisper) and show me what He wants me to do with my life. I was feeling a twinge that something wasn’t quite right with my time management. His first step was to clear house, a.k.a. my Etsy shop. This freed up a lot of time for something else that had been nagging at me for the past six months; writing.
So here I sit, writing. And it feels great! I have no idea what God will do with my writing, but it feels right.
With everything I’ve been reading over the past week; the bible, and authors that I trust and respect, I can hear God say the same thing to me over and over again:
“Just be with Me. Stop trying to figure out what you are supposed to do and trust Me to make it happen for you. Trust Me to show you your worth. You don’t have to earn it. I already have a plan for you.”
This was hard for me to comprehend and accept because I've always believed I had to make something of myself. That I had to figure out what I was supposed to be doing in my life.
Sarah Young, author of “Jesus Calling” * (which I recommend you read) writes in one of her devotionals: “Nothing can rob you of your inheritance of unimaginable riches and well-being. Sometimes I grant you glimpses of your glorious future, to encourage you and spur you on. But your main focus should be staying close to Me. I set the pace in keeping with your needs and My purposes.”
This really spoke to my heart.
In so many ways.
For the past year I’ve had such a struggle with my faith. Things have surfaced from my childhood that completely slammed me to the ground. They really shook the foundation of my faith in God. My ability to really trust that He could keep me safe. That He really cared about me and what happened in my life. That He even existed. That He could and would protect me with my future.
So for the past year I’ve tried, in vain, in my own strength to figure it all out. To make sense of it. To get answers. To discover the 'whys' of what happened to me.
And I’ve learned…there are none.
I'm beginning to realize that I don’t need the answers. There are no answers that could explain what happened to me and why. There is nothing to be said that can take away the pain. I need the peace and contentment to just walk, to move forward.
One step at a time.
One day at a time.
To just trust my Heavenly Father who loves me and is continually working on my behalf to make me a new creation.
“The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.” Psalm 138:8
Don’t get me wrong, it’s slightly torturous for me. Okay, it’s really bad. And I spend a lot of time praying for patience these days. I wasn’t kidding when I said I stink at waiting.
But I see it now. The need to just stay in step with Him. To keep in communication with Him. To keep my mind stayed on Him. And He will do the rest. He will carry me, sustain me, and rescue me.
When you don’t stick by Him, you won’t trust. Anything. You’ll doubt. Everything. (I’m speaking from personal experience here). And that’s when you get lost. That’s when you lose your way and your hope. That’s a choice you make, not Him. That is your will at work, not His.
So what will you do today? Trust Him or walk it alone?
Andrew Murray writes; “Just as much as it was God’s work to create it, it is His work to maintain it,” meaning God has a plan for you and me. He will do it. Let’s not get in the way of it. Let’s just do our best to follow it.
“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:16
He has a plan for us. He has a specific, unique plan for you.
Are you lost? Are you struggling in your faith? Go back to Him and rest in the assurance that He is carrying you in the palm of His hand. Read the bible, talk to Him in prayer. Spend time with those God followers who really know Him personally. Saturate yourself in Him. Call out to Him and He will save you.
He can and will deliver you. Yes, even you :)
“Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob, all the remnant of the people of Israel, you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46: 3-4
(* “40 days with Jesus: celebrating His presence” by Sarah Young)